Monday, December 31, 2007

Mumbai Elites!!!!!

2 1/2 months of truth, 21/2 months of shaking, 2 1/2 months of renunciation, 2 1/2 months of thought and examination, 21/2 months of self denial. I believe and imagine how the 2 1/2 months could have been for my ex-Fiance. She would have spend time in "wrap Sessions", wandering places, going to movies, entertaining and getting entertained, and drenched in a self-created world of workmanship and hardwork, shielding off all possible modes of corruption by outmost self-denial. Psychologically would have experienced a extreme feelings of deprivation; self-imposed pressure towards high achievement; dening opportunity for dealing with emotions and impulses; a strong guilt of in-adequacy paving way to entertaining self centred and self gratificatory desires. Largely striving to live up a role of "Good Child".
This is achieved by conforming to pre-set expectations of parents, friends and relatives (environment), towards getting goals set and assessed as desirable by many and rarely asked as to what one oneself desired; only realising that one delivered only on demand not from heart. For her parents she is a prized being, no dening of that fact, but that would have a toll on the very being, as the interface with reality is also managed, influenced and manipulated to the maximum on submission. Thus one starts to wear a mask, a mask of obedience, a mask of confidence, success and well-being, just to show and display a certain kind of security on surface, but Deep down, however one would continue to carry the burdens of doubt and emotional inadequacy no matter how hard one tries to camouflage under work pressures and career aspirations. The die has already been cast for her - for one to succeed against all odds and an institutionalised thought of a brighter future. The inner-sense on the other hand continues to be fragile. As time passes by she would have quickly learned and adopted to externalise blame and criticise their circumstances. If things don't get along well, she would start to increasingly sulk, cry, or blame the environment in which she is in. So as to add more fuel the parents would increasingly look for a overseas person and deep pockets, which would be continuously be countered, for her heart drives something within her career aspirations. I atleast for see something outside of her parents will and that should happen only after 2008 and before 2010.
Lot to desire, lot to dream, but the path is rough with a tender and fragile person cocooned by a stubborn, straight nose external self. All the very best...

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